My claim to fame may just be my BLUNTNESS.... and my ability to relate to ALL ages. I take people seriously enough to offer advice or just genuinely LISTEN. I enjoy communicating- you can learn quite a bit by opening up a good conversation & allowing many people to jump in. Alot of people just want someone who will lend an ear and maybe a humorous or helpful word or two. I derive pleasure from being that person.
So, right off the bat, I should give everyone a brief synopsis of who I am. BRIEF. Because, after a dozen or so more blogs, you'll still not FULLY know who I am. Infact, you may become very confused. I am ever-changing- a GEMINI to the highest highest pinnacle- and I CRAVE constant change. You will have a different opinion of me after reading each blog. And that opinion will change like New England weather. Good!!
I am Darci. TheDarci. Spelling changed to an I from a Y at the age of 18(see above photo) as a form of rebellion. LAME? Maybe. But TRUST ME, switching a vowel at the end of birth name is the LEAST rebellious thing I did at age 18. Believe it.
At the ripe old age of almost 46, I am a LOVER OF COCK, an eclecctic card designer, an interior decorator, a color coordinator, a sex therapist, a chef, a stand up(and sit down) comedian, a motivational speaker, a painter,writer,photographer,bartender,organizational expert,makeup artist and pleasure seeker. Not to mention many other PAID and UNPAID occupations.
Let's begin today with LOVER OF COCK. Something I should have been generously compensated for over the years......HA! If I had a nickel for every... um....
So, yes... COCK.
One of thee most beautiful words in the English language. COCK, DICK,PRICK,PENIS, HOG,MEAT, WEENIE, WANKER, PUD, BEEF...
I mean, you get the jism. I mean jist.
Girls(prudes and sluts)- ALL FEMALES... and GAY MEN,too... If you don't absolutely ADORE AND WORSHIP COCK, you are clearly doing a disservice to your boyfriend, husband or Boy Toy!!! And pretending to love your mans MANHOOD is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Infact, it's offensive. Not just the cock either... the BALLS, as well. The whole GLORIOUS genital region from the belly button to the mid inner thigh. The ENTIRE BEAUTIFUL GAMUT OF MALE-DOM.
A cock can be your best friend, if you treat it with lust,love,sensuality,necessary roughness, technique, TIME and respect. It will pay YOU back times ten if it knows how much you admire it. TRUST ME.
I feel terribly bad for the super horny guy who fidgets beneath the sheets, holding his raging boner, dreaming of a porn star blowjob. But in walks Polly Dry-Puss, turning out the light, touching it reluctantly for a nano-second and then assuming her duty is DONE. This IS the sex life of some men & women. HORRRRRENDOUS. Or as my friend and I coined: HENDY. Which is heinous and horrendous combined.
Ladies, please... if you want TOP QUALITY, MULTI-ORGASMIC SEXUAL INTERLUDES THAT BLOW YOUR MIND, you BETTER get your hands,tongue,lips,and throat over that piece of steel and give it the pleasure it so deserves.
There is no better turn on than a man who KNOWS his woman loves his cock and is willing to keep it in her mouth as long as need be. A woman who strokes it,LOOKS at it,talks to it,shaves it,tickles it, suctions and swirls it, gags on it. The COCK is the extension of a man, so to speak, don't SHUN IT. FACE IT and EMBRACE IT!!!
And of course, in the interest of sexual HEALTH, you'll also be doing yourself a favor by giving his tool the once-over. Check for cherry-red penis pimples,...stems included. Or sebaceous scabs running vertically(and virally) up his shaft. If it reeks of a gym sock soaked in clam juice, you know you've encountered a serious issue. And if GREEN FIZZY POP ROCKS are oozing from the slit as you jerk him off, GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE!!
If your own private spectrum is not dripping with nectar when your guy has his beefsteak stuffed down your piehole- you are NOT worthy enough even GET good sex.
Don't get confused here, I'm NOT saying that in order to have great sex, the woman does ALL the work. NO- LISTEN UP. We are now talking about THE COCK. Which ultimately is connected to THE PUSSY. Stay with me.
We will revisit the vagina at a later blog.
Everyone knows that confident woman who always has that little SMIRK on her face when she walks into a room. The one who always looks like she's hiding a dirty dirty little secret?? The one you ENVY because you know she's having quality sex on a regular basis? Yeah, THAT WOMAN. Well....that woman is a LOVER OF COCK. Just like with any other area in your life... you can't expect to be fully satisfied if you don't also GIVE EQUALLY. So give, and understand the COCK, first.
The word "penis" is taken from the Latin word for "tail." Some derive that from Indo-European *pesnis, and the Greek word πέος = "penis" from Indo-European *pesos. Prior to the adoption of the Latin word in English the penis was referred to as a "yard". The Oxford English Dictionary cites an example of the word yard used in this sense from 1379,[1] and notes that in his Physical Dictionary of 1684, Steven Blankaart defined the word penis as "the Yard, made up of two nervous Bodies, the Channel, Nut, Skin, and Fore-skin, etc."[2]
Cocks come in all shapes and sizes,colors and textures. This may sound RUDE, but I believe a girl better check out the goods before she gets into a serious relationship. The key to a LONG TERM, REWARDING AND FULLFILLING RELATIONSHIP is that you LOVE the guys HEART,HUMOUR,MIND..... AND COCK.
If one of those things is questionable, eh.. you've got a bit of a dilemma. Girls, you WILL be looking for a better cock if you aren't fully satisfied with the one you got now. You know it and I know it. Sex is important. You don't want something that doesn't "FIT" your standards. And every girl has a different standard...so guys, don't worry here!
Some girls like 'em super jumbo like a ripe plantain. Others prefer short, thick hoagies with a shitake mushroom head. Some dream about uncircumsized Latino sausage. It's all a matter of taste( no pun intended).
I WILL SAY THAT NOBODY LIKES A COSMETIC SPONGE( THIS IS A PERSONAL SHOUT OUT TO AN UNFORTUNATE GUY I DATED IN THE 1980'S). MY CONDOLENCES, BILLY. WHAT COULD I HAVE EXPECTED FROM A GUY WHO WORE A MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE 5 DAYS OUT OF THE WEEK?
So,when the time cums, make sure you SEE,FEEL, AND SCROTUMIZE, I mean SCRUTINIZE his junk in the light of day before you jump into something you may regret. Weigh it in your hand... really interview that thing- and you'll know when his meat and potatoes are what you want on your dinner plate.
And then it's YOUR TURN to provide the gravy.
Sound harsh? NO WAY. Men, don't be offended. I'm doing YOU a favor. I'm on your side,guys.
OBVIOUSLY. I wouldn't know what to do without MEN.... AND COCKS.
oh my! a lovely manifesto
ReplyDelete