EVER THINE, EVER MINE, EVER OURS.
New Years Eve? Right after Thanksgiving & Christmas? The most stressful time of the year?
Financial burdens, other engagements, the hustle and bustle of the season, inclement weather and other obligations associated with the holidays?? Did I mention financial burdens? Oh yes, I did. Too much, too much I say!!
But, being a ROYAL complainer for over 3 months has taught me a few lessons. I am always willing to see a silver lining, even if it’s the one inside the expensive clutch I bitched about having to buy, to go with the dress I bitched about having to buy, to go with the shoes I bitched about having to buy… and so on and so on….
And although I still think that having a wedding on New Years Eve is a touch selfish & not the most convenient time for most regular folk, I have learned to look at the whole thing from a different perspective.
Over the last few months, my relationship with my guy, who also happens to be the BEST MAN in the wedding(and MY BEST MAN) has strengthened. We’ve talked “wedding” until we’ve been “something blue-in-the-face”. We’ve talked romance, rings, proposals, traditions,& pressures. We’ve talked expectations, having something to prove, desperation, reality. We’ve talked love, love and more love…….. Endless conversations on the subject of marriage. These talks just verified even more how we both have the same deep down views & feelings regarding commitment.
What we both ended up realizing is something quite profound.
Everyone is unique in this world but we all want love. We all have different ways of expressing our love and choose different ways to share our lives with others. Some people choose to get married on New Years Eve… have a one hell of a party to ring in the new year! Hell, why not? It’s THEIR wedding, there’s 365 days to choose from, they had to pick ONE, right??
Some people spend thousands and thousands upon thousands of dollars to marry someone they barely know, to create a SHOW- to PROVE something to the world!! Some people get married for 18 hours & then divorce! Some people marry 3, 4, even 5 “loves of their lives.” Some marriages last, some don’t. Men marry men. Women marry women. Some get wedding tattoos. Some live together for decades, content, in love, forever- but never with a marriage certificate. Some have alternative weddings, others get hitched by a Justice of the Peace. There are so many choices out there- find one that works for you!
The union of two is just that… a union of TWO. Never can either party explain to the WORLD how they “feel” about their partner. It shouldn’t be about the WORLD anyways. Who cares what anyone else thinks?? A diamond ring doesn’t PROVE to the world that the couple will remain devoted and cherish one another FOREVER. It means the guy spent a lot of money to make the girl happy and to follow tradition. It’s a symbol. Often beautiful, yes. But symbols of love are just that. SYMBOLS.
What I see is that most girls are obsessed with being married. They want to be proposed to, want a big big ring, want a big big wedding and sometimes they don’t even LIKE the guy, or they’ve dated them for a brief period of time. They talk marriage so much, the guy usually feels pressured. They don’t even allow the relationship to run it’s own course. I can guarantee if the girl just ENJOYED her time with her guy, she’d be surprised what he’s capable of doing on his own. But they NEED MARRIAGE to FEEL SECURE. To feel LOVED. To prove something to themselves and to the world.
ONE DAY of being princess? Or 50+ years of being treated like a princess every day, no audience, no gown, no gifts, no honeymoon… but REAL LIFE?
I talk to a lot of people who know that I’ve been with Christian for almost 19 years. We are not LEGALLY MARRIED, but our relationship has stood the test of time and then some. Isn’t that proof enough? Well, guess what?? AHHH, a sigh of relief. IT IS!!!! The proof is HERE! WE ARE THE PROOF. 19 years is a long time- we must be doing something right.
The movie Sex & The City was on the other day. We watched most of it together and it really touched upon some very important aspects of relationships and marriage.
We found ourselves relating deeply to certain parts of it, and realized we were both holding hands & wiping tears.
Carrie says to Mr. Big: “You know the funny part? We were perfectly happy before we decided to live happily ever after!”
And
Before that she says: “Why did we even decide to get married?”
And Mr. Big responds: “I guess we were afraid it would MEAN SOMETHING IF WE DIDN’T”.
Well, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I have a huge heart and so does Christian. We believe in love and friendship & clearly, we believe in longevity & commitment. We now know that we are MORE THAN OK, with a ring or without, with a walk down the aisle someday or at a courthouse, or never. With self designed wedding tattoos or with nothing at all. Because the symbol of love you can’t see. It’s from within.
We are now thrilled to be ringing in the New Year at an event that celebrates LOVE! Dressed to the hilt, reminiscing on the past year and looking towards the future……
OUR FUTURE, together.
Happy 2012.
March to the beat of a different drummer and ring in the New Year with a fresh perspective.
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