Now, come to think of it, maybe 2 years had passed. What I do know, is shortly after our DRAMATIC break-up, I moved from East Boston to Brighton. I could write pages and pages as to why I had to move, but this story is about ex boyfriends, not RACISM AND ARSON. I’ll save the FIRE and SHOOTING EVENT for a later blog.
Many times in life, especially in my life, as ONE thing changes, several other things begin to change. I found a nice apartment in Brighton with a friend. Totally new environment- no more guys from liquor stores yelling out the doors to me with kissy sounds and gyrating groins, or crazy Italians coming over at 2 in the morning looking for “sex” but settling for smoking weed, playing cards for pennies,and listening to Run DMC.
I think it was the beginning of “slowing down” for me- and maybe not even by choice, but by events that put me in a fresh new situation.
I also got a new job. No more polyester FRIENDLIES uniform and 6 inch high teased hair. Nope. I toned the tresses down a few notches- and I was hired to work at Liberty Mutual Insurance Company as a Workers Compensation Clerk. This was a totally different scene for me- one that I wasn’t even sure I’d like. But, I knew that I needed to attempt a more professional job in order to pay a much higher rent and progress with my life.
I won’t lie. Since the breakup with Adrian, I probably thought about him every day, at least once a day. I dated other guys- Freddy who had an especially gifted tongue. Adam, who sang a Lionel Richie love song to me in New Hampshire, which made me want to RUN all the way back to Boston because I was utterly mortified. I even dated a Persian Doctor, who’s chest reminded me of the nursery rhyme: Bah Bah Black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir yes sir, three bags full, who wanted to pimp me out to his brother.
But I did meet a co-worker named Helena who is still my friend…27 yrs later. We instantly hit it off. We were very different but we had being GREEK in common. Through our friendship at work, we began to share information and of course, I shared my lost love for Adrian. I even found my journal about HIM and let her read it. For whatever reason, she was fascinated with our story. The more I talked about him, reflected on the words in my diary- the MORE I thought about him. She loved discussing him too- and was just devastated about how it all ended. Helena was married with one baby. She was somewhat living vicariously through my story. Sometimes I thought I was doing the same!! Weird.
Then, one Friday at work, she said to me point blank: “Call him!” “Darci, just call him- what is the worst thing that could happen?” The RUSH that went thru my entire body is one I can “feel” today if I reflect hard enough. And then, I did it. I never forgot the number. Why would I? I dialed from her cubicle at the end of our work day. Had it on speaker phone. Helena and I were acting like nervous 8th graders. The brother answered and said he wasn’t home. I then said: “Oh, could you tell him that Darci called and here’s my new number?” He said “SURE.”
I left work a few minutes later. Another co-worker named Becky drove me home. We had plans that night to go out to a club. I got in the house and my answering machine was blinking. I walked over to it with this strange inclination- that I KNEW what was going to happen but was it ONLY BECAUSE I WILLED IT TO HAPPEN??
So, I pressed the button.
My gut dropped. Wait, isn’t it supposed to be the jaw that drops? Well, something dropped and someone gulped and my heart begin to RACE because THERE HE WAS, ADRIANS VOICE ON MY MACHINE!!! It’s was a 12 min ride home from my job. He called me as soon as he got my message!! I could barely BREATHE. I was euphoric. Hearing his voice was like watching the end of 15 great romance movies all at the same time. I wanted to EXPLODE with emotion and energy. I was almost 22 yrs old and that moment is ONE of the many moments ETCHED in my brain and heart FOREVER.
I cannot recall the exact words he spoke in the message. I do remember the TONE which was a confident but slightly nervous, cocky and quite flirty with a bit of humor….. and a request to call him back.
Of course, I didn’t call HIM back just yet. I called HELENA to tell her what happened!!! I don’t know WHO was happier… her or me.
Then, I called Adrian.
He picked up.
WOW. I mean, it was like no time had passed and an eternity passed all at the same time. It was the perfect conversation with such an element of urgency to SEE each other. It was as if we both HAD TO SEE EACHOTHER THAT INSTANT. He asked if we could meet the next day. I wanted to say “What about NOW?” but I settled for “Sure, where?”
We decided on GOVERNMENT CENTER at 11 a.m. We also continued to talk for a good half hour. Don’t ask me what we discussed, I was too busy pissing myself. Ha ha. That night, I cancelled plans with Becky and instead walked 2 miles to my friend Carolyns house. I needed a chance to BREATHE, REFLECT AND ABSORB everything that was about to happen- AGAIN- with Adrian.
I chain smoked about 9 Virginia Slim 120 cigarettes when I got to her place. I was a nervous wreck but a HAPPY wreck.
I stayed a bit and then walked 2 miles home.
And then Saturday arrived and I was on the Green Line wearing a specific pair of jeans and a specific tight shirt and specific heels. My heart and my soul were ALIVE again.
And all that mattered was seeing Adrian.
As he walked towards me, I felt a deep exhilaration. In some ways, I knew he was more nervous than I. He looked a bit more beefy with his bare tan arms showing off his olive summer skin. He couldn’t have filled out his jeans any better. And the signature unlaced workboots added a touch of nostalgia.
Wait… who was that other guy WITH HIM?? A friend? Yup.
“Hey”, he says with a Bruce Willis smirk. “This is my buddy, Derek.”
“Hey” I manage to say with a confused but undaunted tone. Then,we all start walking and all the while I am trying to process about 76 million different things. Like, who the fuck is Derek and why did he bring him? Why does he look so hot? Where the heck are we going? Has he noticed how good my ass looks in these jeans??
We end up at a random dark bar near downtown crossing. It’s 11:oo in the MORNING!! We take a seat at the bar with Adrian inbetween me and Derek. I don’t even remember what I ordered to drink. I do remember this:
My right arm is by my side, his left arm by his side….and out of an akward dead silence, he reaches over and takes my hand in his. It was one of those moments in time where you want to close your eyes and stay on that cloud forever. In a matter of 3.6 seconds, Derek gets up and says: “Ahh, well, I gotta get going, it was nice to meet ya!”
And now it’s just Adrian and I, before noon, in a shadowy tavern clutching onto one another.
I concluded that he probably brought Derek along incase the year or so that passed had turned me into some hideous creature. That way, he’d be able to just make up an excuse to leave with Derek. I can understand that to some extent, as Adrian was a touch superficial. But apparently, 18 months had done me good, because back to catch the B line, Adrian took it upon himself to pick me up and swing me around, while squeezing my ass, after we made out feverishly in an alleyway on our way to the train stop.
Before we arrived at my apartment in Brighton,we stopped to get a huge bottle of Bacardi and an ENORMOUS RIB EYE.
Apparently, Adrian had stopped doing cocaine and only used coke when added to his rum. He did not, however, give up his lust for slabs of beef.
Back at my place, we didn’t waste much time.
We made love on the living room floor- right on the carpet. It was powerful and voracious but with a touch of innocence and freedom.
Then we spent the next 10 hours doing a multitude of things together. We listened to Frank Sinatra, singing and dancing together. I cooked him his steak and made him drinks. I modeled my bathing suit for him and we gave each other back rubs, body rubs, leg rubs, butt rubs. It was bliss. He spent the night and I didn’t care about the future. Only that he was part of the present.
The next 5 months were like riding a faulty rollercoaster, but eating cotton candy afterwards. Hey… Did you think we’d get back together and suddenly everything would be perfect? Is that what I thought???? Didn’t you read about our tumultuous relationship that ended with threats and spitting???
Ahh, what we were both thinking? You cannot have a healthy relationship based on lust, ego’s, booze and immaturity.
I must say we TRIED. He came to a family cook-out with me, flaunting his muscles and turning on the charm. He spilled his guts to me about the truth behind the whole ex girlfriend LIE. He even cried once on the phone with me, and mentioned us having GRANDCHILDREN together. But, he lived in a fantasy and I must’ve grown up and grown past believing in that. He was not consistent and his words rarely matched his actions. As I said, when ONE thing changes, other things follow.
I decided to follow my HEAD and not my heart on this one. So, I let him go.
And when I found someone else, about 3 months into my new relationship, I got a phone call.
It was Adrian.
And from the tone of my voice, he knew.
I simply said : “Hello, I can’t talk to you now, I am WITH someone.” He hesitated. He then said in the most vulnerable and REAL way he’s ever spoken to me: “You are?”, just to make sure. I replied: “Yes.” And we said goodbye.
And that was 24 yrs ago.
There is no TO BE CONTINUED.
I’ve found the replacement ADRIAN I’ve always known I would find. And I would not have known what to look for if it wasn’t for the ORIGINAL.
I give him that. He was an original.
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